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Homer Simpson Quotes

About Homer Simpson

Homer Simpson

Country: us flag America

Homer Jay Simpson is a fictional character in the animated television series The Simpsons voiced by Dan Castellaneta. He has become perhaps the most popular of the members of the hugely successful Simpsons cartoon family, and his catchphrase, the annoyed grunt "D'oh!", has been included in the Oxford English Dictionary.

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Quotations

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And how is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?

~ Homer Simpson
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Oh, people can come up with statistics to prove anything. 14% of people know that.

~ Homer Simpson
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Oh, so they have the internet on computers now?

~ Homer Simpson
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Owww look at me Marge, I'm making people Happy! I'm the magical man, from Happy Land, who lives in a gumdrop house on Lolly Pop Lane!!!!...... By the way I was being sarcastic...

~ Homer Simpson
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When will I learn? The answer to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV!

~ Homer Simpson
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I'm not normally a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me, Superman!

~ Homer Simpson
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Kids are wonderful - you can teach them to hate the things you hate.

~ Homer Simpson
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Oh look, a 'Far Side' Calendar.
I don't get it.
I don't get it.
I don't get it.
I don't get it.
I don't get it.
I don't get it.

~ Homer Simpson
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I'm one Snickers bar away from loosing my foot to diabetes.
Hhhmmmm.Snickers Bar!!!

~ Homer Simpson
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I really love my family. Marge, Bart, the one who doesn't talk and Bart.

~ Homer Simpson
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Expand my mind learning juice.

~ Homer Simpson

- while drinking a beer

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Being popular is the most important thing in the whole world.

~ Homer Simpson
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God bless those pagans.

~ Homer Simpson
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If something's hard to do, then it's not worth doing.

~ Homer Simpson
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People can come up with statistics to prove anything.
14% of people know that.

~ Homer Simpson
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Trying something new is the first step towards failing.

~ Homer Simpson
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Aim low, aim so low that when you achieve your goal, even you will be dissapointed.

~ Homer Simpson
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Lisa, if the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasn't, it's that girls should stick to girls sports, such as hot oil wrestling and foxy boxing and such and such.

~ Homer Simpson

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So, they have the Internet on computers now do they?

~ Homer Simpson
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Lisa, Santa-Clause is just a story, like Gremlins, Fairies, Elves and Eskimos.

~ Homer Simpson

Fame is like a drug, and drugs are like a drug.

~ Homer Simpson

You know those balls that they put on car antennas so you can find them in the parking lot? Those should be on EVERY CAR!

~ Homer Simpson

We're gonna get a new TV. Twenty-one inch screen, realistic flesh tones, and a little cart so we can wheel it into the dining room on holidays.

~ Homer Simpson

I can order it on the phone, dial 1-800... d'oh... our phone doesn't go up to 800.

~ Homer Simpson

Does whisky count as beer?

~ Homer Simpson
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My father was a great dad, he used to get so mad every year when Santa didn't bring me any presents.

~ Homer Simpson
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When I first heard that Marge was joining the police academy, I thought it would be fun and zany, like that movie --Spaceballs. But instead it was dark and disturbing. Like that movie, Police Academy.

~ Homer Simpson
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Bart, a woman is like beer. They look good, they smell good, and you'd step over your own mother just to get one!

~ Homer Simpson

You'll have to speak up, my head is in a towel

~ Homer Simpson
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Well Mo its 1AM I'd better go home and spend some quality time with the kids.

~ Homer Simpson
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If you really want something in this life, you have to work for it --Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers!

~ Homer Simpson
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