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Josh Billings Quotes

About Josh Billings

Josh Billings

Life: 1818 - 1885

Country: us flag America

Profession: Writer;

Josh Billings was the pen name of humorist born Henry Wheeler Shaw (20 April 1818 - 14 October 1885). He was perhaps the second most famous humor writer and lecturer in the United States in the second half of the 19th century after Mark Twain, although his reputation has not fared so well with later generations.

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Quotations

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.

~ Josh Billings
laughing

After enlightenment, the laundry.

~ Josh Billings

Consider the postage stamp: its usefulness consists in the ability to stick to one thing till it gets there.

~ Josh Billings

In youth we run into difficulties, in old age difficulties run into us.

~ Josh Billings

Advice is like castor oil, easy enough to give but dreadful uneasy to take.

~ Josh Billings

The thinner the ice, the more anxious is everyone to see whether it will bear.

~ Josh Billings

Wisdom has never made a bigot, but learning has.

~ Josh Billings

There is [sic] two things in life for which we are never fully prepared, and that is - twins.

~ Josh Billings

Live within your income, even if you have to borrow money to do so.

~ Josh Billings

There's a great power in words, if you don't hitch too many of them together.

~ Josh Billings

Common sense is the knack of seeing things as they are, and doing things as they ought to be done.

~ Josh Billings

Common sense is instinct, and enough of it is genius.

~ Josh Billings

The wheel that squeaks the loudest is the one that gets the grease.

~ Josh Billings

The man who ain't got an enemy is really poor.

~ Josh Billings

Experience is a school where a man learns what a big fool he has been.

~ Josh Billings

Experience increases our wisdom but doesn't reduce our follies.

~ Josh Billings

Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt of, not swallowed.

~ Josh Billings

The best way to convince a fool that he is wrong is to let him have his own way.

~ Josh Billings

There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness.

~ Josh Billings

Keep a cow, and the milk won't have to be watered but once.

~ Josh Billings

The miser and the glutton are two facetious buzzards: one hides his store, and the other stores his hide.

~ Josh Billings

There is gravity in wisdom, but no particular wisdom in gravity.

~ Josh Billings

Don't mistake pleasures for happiness. They are a different breed of dog.

~ Josh Billings

There's a lot of people in this world who spend so much time watching their health that they haven't the time to enjoy it.

~ Josh Billings

The wicked work harder to reach hell than the righteous to reach heaven.

~ Josh Billings

All the honesty in the world ain't legal tender for one loaf of bread.

~ Josh Billings

Honesty is the rarest wealth anyone can possess, and yet all the honesty in the world ain't lawful tender for a loaf of bread.

~ Josh Billings

The more humble a man is before God the more he will be exhalted; the more humble he is before man, the more he will get rode roughshod.

~ Josh Billings

There are very few good judges of humor, and they don't agree.

~ Josh Billings

The trouble ain't that people are ignorant: it's that they know so much that ain't so.

~ Josh Billings

Incredulity is the wisdom of the fool.

~ Josh Billings

The truly innocent are those who not only are guiltless themselves, but who think others are.

~ Josh Billings
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