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Quotations on Accidents

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I spilled spot remover on my dog, now he's gone.

~ Steven Wright
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While driving I had an accident with a magician. It wasn't my fault. The guy came out of nowhere.

~ Auggie Cook
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If most auto accidents happen within five miles of home, why not move ten miles away?

~ Michael Davis
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I have a driving tip for you: Never hit the lead car in a funeral. I have never seen that many people in that bad a mood.

~ Phyllis Diller
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When I saw a car get sidewiped by a UPS truck, I had to leave a note. It said, "You have been hit by a UPS truck, but you were not in your car. This truck will return the same time tomorrow. If you are not in you car after a third accident, you can pick up your side-view mirror at the local UPS facility."

~ Steve Hofstetter
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There was a 194-car crash in Los Angeles. Luckily the guy in the first car was still able to complete his cell phone call.

~ Jay Leno
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I think cops cause more accidents than they prevent. When you're driving and see a cop ahead, what do you do? Slam on the brakes and struggle to get your seatbelt on. Next to every accident you always see a police car. Coincidence? I think not.

~ Rob O'Reilly

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